Would you continue to compete in an empty stadium?

Imagine fighting the greatest battle of your life with no fans…

No loved ones screaming your name from the bleachers.

No cheers from the crowd.

No TV cameras.

No reporters.

No source to witness the outcome unfold.

Just you and the invisible enemy.

Would you have the integrity to show up and give it your everything anyway?

In this world there will be far more doubters than believers.

Believe anyway.

Both critics and fans may completely abandon you in your race.

Run anyway.

After all, it’s not about them.

It’s about you.

It’s about your Truth.

It’s about seeing the unseen, and remembering that you are not truly alone.

You do not compete for a crown of temporal gain.

You compete for the crown that will last for eternity.

Don’t allow an empty stadium to discourage you.

Continue to exhaust yourself in what you believe.

This is the key to life’s ultimate victory.

“I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle – victorious.” (Vince Lombardi)

This weekend my son and I were on our way to the park to take a walk.

He was sitting in the backseat of the car enjoying a purple (grape) lollipop that he had earned for reaching the next milestone on his potty chart.

He was quite pleased with his prize selection, and he asked me, “does Jesus love purple lollipops, Dada?”

I thought for a moment before responding “I’m sure that he does!” because “Jesus loves all colors…”

Moments later, the power of that simple statement hit me as my son began to recite “Jesus loves…” followed by every single color that he could think of….

“Jesus loves blue…”

“Jesus loves brown…”

“Jesus loves white…”

“Jesus loves black…”

“Jesus loves yellow…”

“Jesus loves green…”

“Jesus loves red…”

Yes my son, He loves them ALL.

Pretty simple concept, don’t you think? ❤️😊🙌

Your words are powerful in the eyes of your children.

Choose wisely.

Lead them in The Truth.

Being a husband and a father is a great responsibility.

You must lead by example.

You must allow space for vulnerability in your home.

If you don’t, you are leaving your family vulnerable.

Quit the tough guy act.

The strong man is sensitive, kind and faithful.

The strong man is a reflection of The Father.

I have a challenge for all believers…

It’s time to live your faith.

It’s time TO BELIEVE.

I remember living 2,700 miles away from home and suffering with such intense anxiety that I found myself in a state of out of body dissociation, questioning my sanity.

I remember receiving a phone call from my college sweetheart and fiancé at work who told me she had packed her things and left for her home state, saddling me with the all of the responsibilities of the house that we had purchased together.

I remember the power of a gambling addiction and the pit of emptiness I felt after turning a couple hundred dollars into $42,000, only to lose it all less than 24 hours later.

I remember an empty fridge inside a lonely apartment on Thanksgiving Day while I was deep in the throws of agoraphobia.

I remember the shame, guilt, anger and sorrow that constantly burdened my heart.

I remember feeling like a victim.

I remember thinking there was no way out.

Then I remember meeting Jesus Christ.

I remember surrender.

I remember repentance.

I remember love.

I remember being born again.

I remember becoming a victor.

I remember rock bottom as a springboard for miracles.

I remember purpose.

I remember passion.

I remember stillness in chaos.

I remember why I no longer fear.

I remember who is in control.

I remember my Savior.

And my heart is secure.

In the midst of these uncertain times…

…I invite you to receive God’s living water.

Allow it to quench your thirst.

Allow it to ground you.

Be still and know.

Is your life busy?

Or full?

I remember busy well.

Busy was a Monday flight to Seattle.

By midweek the SF Bay Area.

Then an early flight home on Friday followed by a race to my car to try and beat traffic and see my family for dinner.

Busy with rental cars, hotel check-ins, VPN access, conference calls, meetings, sales reports, CRM…

… trying to make time to eat adequate meals on a modest per diem, carve out a few minutes to FaceTime my wife and kids before bed and get some decent rest.

Busy was a distraction.

It met the urges of my racing mind.

And it made me feel secure.

But that was a complete illusion.

Busy kept me blind to purpose.

Busy was a trap.

It ensured fullness was a side hustle.

Faith, family, freedom, fitness and joy became part-time pursuits.

I was in the business of busyness – it was my income.

And who could deny a man’s focus on providing for the financial needs of his family?

That was a noble undertaking.

Well, perhaps…

The issue?

Providing is about more than money.

It’s about aligning with a will greater than your own and fulfilling it as a compassionate leader in your home.

Providing is a love story.

And there is no room for the love story to unfold in the busyness.

You have to make a choice and go all in.

Busy? Or full?

Growing up, I was the popular kid.

I ran with the in-crowd.

To my peers, I came from a family that had it all together.

I excelled at most things that I tried.

Without any real effort I was an honor student.

I was the quarterback of the football team and I broke records.

I dated the pretty girls.

And I drove a nice car.

Everything was perfect.

Except it wasn’t.

I was a fraud.

My family didn’t have it all together.

Our house was filled with strife.

I suffered deeply with obsessive compulsive disorder which later led to full blown anxiety and panic.

I was a perfectionist.

No goal achieved was ever enough.

But I hid it all quite well.

I chose relationships for the wrong reasons and I suffered disastrous consequences for those decisions.

I had two broken engagements before I met and married my wife.

I sought comfort in money.

I liked polishing the surface to redirect the focus away from the brokenness within.

I ran on emotion and ego.

And I had no relationship with God.

I wasn’t someone to be admired. Not in the slightest.

Yet sadly, the world embraced me anyway.

Be careful with idols.

What you are getting may not be genuine.

I’m living proof.

Look deeper.

Avoid hedonism, egoism and materialism.

It’s pervasive.

But it’s not YOU.

Follow the TRUTH.

In December 2019 I left my stable employment to accept the risk of starting over once again.

0 clients.

$0 in revs.

Blank slate.

But the earning opportunity was fantastic.

And the product offering matched my vision for the future evolution of the industry where I had spent the vast majority of my career.

It was time, I thought.

So I negotiated a comfortable “guarantee” and took a leap.

My wife and I had just closed on a home.

We were in the midst of a season of sleepless nights and chaotic days with a two and a half year old son and a recently born two and a half month old daughter.

The holidays were upon us.

On paper, a major career overhaul made absolutely no sense.

But I stilled my mind in the “guarantee”.

I thought if I tried it for a year and I found out that I had made a mistake, I could always bail at that time without risking any financial harm.

By month two, COVID-19 was making headlines.

By month four, I was on a significantly reduced comp plan.

By month six, I was laid off.

The security of my guarantee was an illusion.

The world makes no guarantees.

Yet many of us continue to be drawn to these types of false promises for our comfort.

There is only one Truth.

Live for the one promise that cannot be taken away by the world.

The next leg of vulnerability is calling me.

And I am finally ready to embrace it.

190 pages.

44,854 words.

1 powerful story in need of a home.

Good vs evil.

Light vs darkness.

The battle is real.

I am seeking support, my friends.

If you have connections who may be able to help facilitate the next step in my journey such as literary agents or publishers involved with Christian non-fiction, please reach out to me.

Thank you all and God Bless.