I Remember…

I remember living 2,700 miles away from home and suffering with such intense anxiety that I found myself in a state of out of body dissociation, questioning my sanity.

I remember receiving a phone call from my college sweetheart and fiancé at work who told me she had packed her things and left for her home state, saddling me with the all of the responsibilities of the house that we had purchased together.

I remember the power of a gambling addiction and the pit of emptiness I felt after turning a couple hundred dollars into $42,000, only to lose it all less than 24 hours later.

I remember an empty fridge inside a lonely apartment on Thanksgiving Day while I was deep in the throws of agoraphobia.

I remember the shame, guilt, anger and sorrow that constantly burdened my heart.

I remember feeling like a victim.

I remember thinking there was no way out.

Then I remember meeting Jesus Christ.

I remember surrender.

I remember repentance.

I remember love.

I remember being born again.

I remember becoming a victor.

I remember rock bottom as a springboard for miracles.

I remember purpose.

I remember passion.

I remember stillness in chaos.

I remember why I no longer fear.

I remember who is in control.

I remember my Savior.

And my heart is secure.